Identity within Latinx families

 Identity within Latinx Families 

     Identifying yourself within a Latinx family has always been a problematic part of life. Due to our heritage and culture, the common and acceptable way of life is a muscular working husband and a wife who lives to serve the husband, very similar to how it is written in the Christian Bible. Now to say that all Latinx families are like this, would be false. There are very progressive families who live differently and they are the ones who tend to get criticized the most for living differently. It is this stigma of change that really plagues Latinx families. Creating an identity for oneself, different from the identity of our ancestors causes oneself to suffer immense criticism from our own blood. We tend to alienate our own through colorism, homophobia, and invalidating mental health issues. Many issues can be attributed to toxic masculinity. 

    According to Gary Barker (2005) a leading global voice in advancing g gender equality for men and positive masculinity;

    There is an intense pressure for young men, both Black and Latino to conform to certain standards for        toughness and financial prowess - often by any means necessary. By attempting to meet these standards, poor minority men often get themselves in trouble - through violence that ultimately leads to a run - in with the law. 

A term that is often used in conversations about equality is Hegemonic Masculinity which signifies that women exists as sexual objects for men while men are not considered objects for other men. This is a prime example of toxic masculinity ideology that many Latinx men would consider to be a part of "Machismo", a word that originates from "macho" and is negative within Latinx culture because it is seen as "male dominance, patriarchy, authoritarianism, and spouse abuse." This is a complete contrast to caballerismo, which is a positive form of masculinity that consists of a man connecting with family, showing emotion, and social responsibility. 

Monica Martinez states in her article, "Toxic Masculinity: An Outcome of colonialism and its Effects on the Latinx/Chicanx LGBTQ+ Community," that in Latinx cultures masculine men must reject everything associated with femininity, be emotionless and aggressive while being homophobic. This comes from a fear that being gay is not manly which results in an oppression of gay men in order to be seen as manly by the rest. 

Monica also tackles on how religion is used against the LGBTQIA+ community where being queer is seen as sinful because God's plan was for man and women to procreate. Members of the Trans community are seen as sinful because they are changing the biological gender.

All this is simply the tip of the iceberg of what plagues the Latinx community. 

My experience with this issue has been facing toxic masculinity with my outer family. I've never had the same beliefs as some of my uncles where they see women as house wives and that "real" men don't show emotions. I have never been a person to hold in emotions but instead was very vocal about things. I always like to change things up with the way I dress and would sometimes face criticism over it. I once had highlights and some people where questioning my sexuality, I never knew that having highlights meant someone was gay but apparently to them that is exactly what it means. 

Having spent time in this toxic environment has affected my self-esteem and made me question who I am as a straight latino man. It has taken time but thankfully I have been able to deal with those effects and gotten rid of any toxicity that lingered in my life and mentality. I did this through constant dialogues with myself and having a safe space with people I trust who allowed me to speak freely of the constant struggle I face by having been in that environment. 

The Solution: Tamale Talk (Where we eat a tamale and connect) 

Due to the toxic environments presented, many of us are faced with no outlet to share our stories with our families. So I propose a podcast where people are given the floor to speak freely and express themselves. This is an idea that has developed from conversations I've had with cousins. I had suffered childhood trauma from toxic masculinity and because of the stigma that comes with seeking help from a therapist. I have found that speaking to my cousins and using them as a form of therapy has helped. This would also help people financially since they wouldn't need to pay session fees. 

Everyone needs a safe space to talk about things and be heard, be seen, and feel understood. This would provide a perfect substitute for those who wish not to deal with stigma of dealing with mental health. 

Welcome to tamale talk, where everyone is welcomed to speak because your story and wellbeing matters. 

                                                                        Works Cited 

Corrales, Javier and Pecheny, Mario. The Politics of Sexuality in Latin America. University of Pittsburgh Press, 2010 

Martinez, Monica (2019) "Toxic Masculinity: An Outcome of Colonialism and its Effects on the Latinx/Chicanx LGBTQ+ Community," McNair Research Journal.